So without further adieu, we present Dear Ann along with this letter from Charles Gint, printed at his threat/request.
"Hello, I'm Charles Gint. Thank you for joining me. Today's venture into greatness is a short story entitled Dear Ann.
"Inspired by the works of lesser greats like myself -- Joyce, Jonrosh, and Marenghi -- I've been a writer now some fifty years. I started penning in the early seventies, and since then have blazed a trail through the world of literature that many have since followed. The path I made is not a safe one, but at the end of it is glory, fame; there used to be fortune as well, however, that's easily lost and meaningless! A fair warning. Creepy, Halloween themed ice cream trucks are not a sound investment, nor are drug mules, domesticated squirrels, or children clothes made of asbestos, although one would imagine parents'd be inclined to keep their kids from burning alive, but I digress.
"I've said enough, though I wish I could say more. We'll chat again, soon I hope. When the bottle is open, and the wine flows freely I'll be there because who passes up on an open bar? Not me.
"Sincerely, Charles Gint."