Deicide

Bless me father
for I have sinned. 
It's been
eighteen years since
I've even been in,
Well,
my last confession,
Was a final concession
To relieve
A dying parent's apprehension.
In any event,
don't get out of joint,
But this time
I'm sure there's no point
Asking absolution. 
 
I don't have the grace.
 
How is anyone bound
to a promise
made in Vegas? 
High on winnings,
Liquor,
And orgasm
Who wouldn't marry
A failure?
Thou shall not covet
Another man's
Dumb luck.
 
I tried my best
To get her
Out of my head.
These bones hold
more than they can own.
I saw a constellation
Of us kissing
And knew...
Thing is
her husband did too.
 
He sent me her eyes.
 
Forgiveness is divine,
Yet,
All I received
for resignation --
he's not mine
to punish or judge --
proved cold comfort. 
So
last night
I loaded up on
Wild Turkey and Oxy,
Eyes close
Blinking to heaven,
And when I met god
he hugged me.
Then I took the knife
He jammed in my back,
stabbed him proper. 
 
Paramedics arrived,
as I planned,
but did not resuscitate
before I killed
He who is I am. 
But that's not my sin. 
I didn't do it for her. 
I did it for me.