At first, NASA thought they had a glitch. Their instruments had begun receiving telemetry from an object in space. More importantly, it's apparent trajectory implied the object originated on Mars and was now traveling to Earth. Many heads were scratched, and initial conclusions all pointed to a hoax. However, once other countries started to report the object serious inquiries began immediately, especially when the object made a course correction. Without this course correction, the object would have flown straight into the Moon. Now it continued without a single obstacle to Earth.
Of course conspiracy theories soon filled the air. There are too many gems to give them space here because to allow one demands another three, if for no other reason than the sheer hilarity of certain claims juxtaposed against the bone chilling plausibility of others. Perhaps sometime in the near future it would be worthwhile to collect the best of these theories into some type of anthology, but that’s for later.
On December 5th, the object arrived. Observations as it approached revealed that the object possessed certain similarities with common satellites. Although, this device appeared to be more streamlined than anything in orbit around Earth or which humanity ever shot out into space. On the 5th, though, the world held its breath as the object descended outside Perryton, Texas. It came down smoothly, occasional bursts of green flame slowing and controlling its descent.
No one knew what to expect. The object opened. Out of it came the latest Mars rover. NASA had lost contact with the rover several months earlier. Chalking the loss up to an unanticipated system failure – speculations revolved around a circuit board that burned out, perhaps damaged either on takeoff or landing if not otherwise faulty to begin with – officials at NASA had no real choice other than to simply accept the billion dollar malfunction; but now here it was, rolling along on its own power as if nothing had ever been wrong. An assembly of scientists from around the world approached the rover. The machine extended a mechanical arm, presenting them with a small metal box.
Inside it the scientists found a note. A single sheet of paper with the typewritten message: Our planet is not a junkyard. Quite pitching your shit over here. Signed: The People of Mars.
Of course conspiracy theories soon filled the air. There are too many gems to give them space here because to allow one demands another three, if for no other reason than the sheer hilarity of certain claims juxtaposed against the bone chilling plausibility of others. Perhaps sometime in the near future it would be worthwhile to collect the best of these theories into some type of anthology, but that’s for later.
On December 5th, the object arrived. Observations as it approached revealed that the object possessed certain similarities with common satellites. Although, this device appeared to be more streamlined than anything in orbit around Earth or which humanity ever shot out into space. On the 5th, though, the world held its breath as the object descended outside Perryton, Texas. It came down smoothly, occasional bursts of green flame slowing and controlling its descent.
No one knew what to expect. The object opened. Out of it came the latest Mars rover. NASA had lost contact with the rover several months earlier. Chalking the loss up to an unanticipated system failure – speculations revolved around a circuit board that burned out, perhaps damaged either on takeoff or landing if not otherwise faulty to begin with – officials at NASA had no real choice other than to simply accept the billion dollar malfunction; but now here it was, rolling along on its own power as if nothing had ever been wrong. An assembly of scientists from around the world approached the rover. The machine extended a mechanical arm, presenting them with a small metal box.
Inside it the scientists found a note. A single sheet of paper with the typewritten message: Our planet is not a junkyard. Quite pitching your shit over here. Signed: The People of Mars.
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