There is proof the Fiji mermaid is real. And that proof is the fact it gave birth to Michele Bachmann. Her vaguely human visage has allowed her to pass in society without much scrutiny. However, it's only a matter of time before the truth comes out entirely. Yet, one can't help feeling a twinge of Good-For-You. Most politicians refrain from being themselves. It's often considered political suicide to be open about one's honest inclinations. But Michele Bachmann has yet to craft a guise to mask her traits, though there's still time.
In the beginning of any presidential campaign, with primaries in mind, the goal is to appeal to one's base. It's only after securing the party's nomination that one reaches toward the middle. That's when the disguises are thrown on and politicians strain themselves to say sugar coated platitudes which offend the least amount of people possible. But Michele Bachmann has too long a history of bizarre and mindless grumblings for a simple coat of paint to cover. She'll need a real Stan Winston Oscar winner to draw attention from her Self. Although, there are many who believe she's what most American's want which is a definite possibility. After all, not unlike Michele Bachmann, there are many in the States who would like to see a nuclear bomb dropped on Iran.
No politician is immune to gaffes every now and again. Hillary Clinton once said, "We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." Dan Quayle insisted the human race needs to enter the solar system. Illinois' former governor Rod Blagojevich told Esquire magazine, "I'm blacker than Barrack Obama. I shined his shoes." George W. Bush. But they all learn to spin the fuck ups into something tolerable. Blago just kept spewing crazy till it seemed like he had some type of egotistical turrets. When called out for verbal flubs George W. always managed to smile and shrug which made many Americas react like the president was the star of his own sitcom -- Oh George, you loveable nitwit; that's our Bush. Dan Quayle insinuated brain farts happened to everyone from time to time. And Hillary Clinton made sure people feared her bitch-face too much to call her out. But there are things Michele Bachmann will have to confront which may require that Stan Winston body suit.
She fears the G-20 is bringing together the global economy. And this fear is justified since the purpose of the G-20 is to bring together the global economy. She wants to eliminate the minimum wage in order to end unemployment. She also wants a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. Now, the last one proves Bachmann knows some statements may rub others the wrong way as she tried to mitigate her opposition to homosexuality by saying, "We need to have a profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders." Granted, she later in that same statement went on to claim homosexuality is a part of Satan, but it takes time to learn the ins and outs of political sugar coating. No one gets it right the first time.
The Iowa Straw Poll has put Michele Bachmann in an interesting position. Most political analysts will tell you the poll means nothing. First and foremost, the Ames Straw Poll is non-binding and has no consequence in relation to the presidential primaries. Secondly, its real purpose is to demonstrate whether a prospective candidate is financially capable of running for election. After all, there's no greater proof of one's fiscal clout than being able to bus in supports from all over the state. Hell, in the past politicians used to herd voters in from outside Iowa, although the poll is supposedly closed to people from outside the state. The last aspect of the Straw Poll is a show of one's organizational ability. It takes a certain skill to gather enough supporters who won't be distracted by deep fried anything long enough to cast a vote; and people who are willing to vote more than once need clear instructions on how to manipulate the system. What the Iowa Straw Poll proves is that Michele Bachmann is financially and organizationally capable of running for president. The money is there as is the ability to wrangle a mob that already believes in 99% of what she says. It's reaching out to the rest of the United States that will prove difficult. Sure, since the Poll's inception only two of the five winners have gone on to actually be president, but that's not something to stop the sense of elation Bachmann now owns. Those 4,823 votes in Iowa seem sign enough that the 311,961,000 U.S. citizens are likely to vote for Madame Bachmann... so long as she can put on the right features in the coming months.
Or perhaps she doesn't have to hide what she is from anyone. Her support for the group You Can Run But You Can't Hide makes one wonder exactly what her campaign theme song will be like. It would be nice to hear something other than old sad bastard music (it is tempting at this point to make an obvious reference to Bachman-Turner Overdrive which I won't for the sake of the band), but I think a blistering onslaught of rapcore Christian nu-metal might put some folks off. However, given the fact YCRBYCH is funded by corporate sponsors such as Wal-Mart, Holiday Inn, Super 8 Motel, and Best Western means there's a need to keep them close. Money spins the big wheel in politics; there's no dimmer decision than putting distance between one's self and companies' cash-choices. And it makes no sense to push the group away since most of their core values, which any school can have presented for the low, low price of $2700, echo Bachmann's own rhetoric. For instance, she and YCRBYCH advocate: Creationism in schools, an end to homosexuality, a pro-life stance (which in Bachmann's case means no abortions in cases of rape and/or incest), and other hyper-Christian concepts of immorality. Perhaps a flying wedge instead of a disguise is more up her alley, a weapon from which her values can flay the crowd via an aural attack. After all, most voters claim they want honesty in a candidate, someone who will practice what they preach so to speak. And Michele Bachmann may be just that as she has yet to sugar coat her past, instead taking her current success as a sign she's been right in her views all along. It calls to mind Adlai Stevenson who said, "... in a democracy, people usually get the kind of government they deserve."
In the beginning of any presidential campaign, with primaries in mind, the goal is to appeal to one's base. It's only after securing the party's nomination that one reaches toward the middle. That's when the disguises are thrown on and politicians strain themselves to say sugar coated platitudes which offend the least amount of people possible. But Michele Bachmann has too long a history of bizarre and mindless grumblings for a simple coat of paint to cover. She'll need a real Stan Winston Oscar winner to draw attention from her Self. Although, there are many who believe she's what most American's want which is a definite possibility. After all, not unlike Michele Bachmann, there are many in the States who would like to see a nuclear bomb dropped on Iran.
No politician is immune to gaffes every now and again. Hillary Clinton once said, "We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." Dan Quayle insisted the human race needs to enter the solar system. Illinois' former governor Rod Blagojevich told Esquire magazine, "I'm blacker than Barrack Obama. I shined his shoes." George W. Bush. But they all learn to spin the fuck ups into something tolerable. Blago just kept spewing crazy till it seemed like he had some type of egotistical turrets. When called out for verbal flubs George W. always managed to smile and shrug which made many Americas react like the president was the star of his own sitcom -- Oh George, you loveable nitwit; that's our Bush. Dan Quayle insinuated brain farts happened to everyone from time to time. And Hillary Clinton made sure people feared her bitch-face too much to call her out. But there are things Michele Bachmann will have to confront which may require that Stan Winston body suit.
She fears the G-20 is bringing together the global economy. And this fear is justified since the purpose of the G-20 is to bring together the global economy. She wants to eliminate the minimum wage in order to end unemployment. She also wants a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. Now, the last one proves Bachmann knows some statements may rub others the wrong way as she tried to mitigate her opposition to homosexuality by saying, "We need to have a profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders." Granted, she later in that same statement went on to claim homosexuality is a part of Satan, but it takes time to learn the ins and outs of political sugar coating. No one gets it right the first time.
The Iowa Straw Poll has put Michele Bachmann in an interesting position. Most political analysts will tell you the poll means nothing. First and foremost, the Ames Straw Poll is non-binding and has no consequence in relation to the presidential primaries. Secondly, its real purpose is to demonstrate whether a prospective candidate is financially capable of running for election. After all, there's no greater proof of one's fiscal clout than being able to bus in supports from all over the state. Hell, in the past politicians used to herd voters in from outside Iowa, although the poll is supposedly closed to people from outside the state. The last aspect of the Straw Poll is a show of one's organizational ability. It takes a certain skill to gather enough supporters who won't be distracted by deep fried anything long enough to cast a vote; and people who are willing to vote more than once need clear instructions on how to manipulate the system. What the Iowa Straw Poll proves is that Michele Bachmann is financially and organizationally capable of running for president. The money is there as is the ability to wrangle a mob that already believes in 99% of what she says. It's reaching out to the rest of the United States that will prove difficult. Sure, since the Poll's inception only two of the five winners have gone on to actually be president, but that's not something to stop the sense of elation Bachmann now owns. Those 4,823 votes in Iowa seem sign enough that the 311,961,000 U.S. citizens are likely to vote for Madame Bachmann... so long as she can put on the right features in the coming months.
Or perhaps she doesn't have to hide what she is from anyone. Her support for the group You Can Run But You Can't Hide makes one wonder exactly what her campaign theme song will be like. It would be nice to hear something other than old sad bastard music (it is tempting at this point to make an obvious reference to Bachman-Turner Overdrive which I won't for the sake of the band), but I think a blistering onslaught of rapcore Christian nu-metal might put some folks off. However, given the fact YCRBYCH is funded by corporate sponsors such as Wal-Mart, Holiday Inn, Super 8 Motel, and Best Western means there's a need to keep them close. Money spins the big wheel in politics; there's no dimmer decision than putting distance between one's self and companies' cash-choices. And it makes no sense to push the group away since most of their core values, which any school can have presented for the low, low price of $2700, echo Bachmann's own rhetoric. For instance, she and YCRBYCH advocate: Creationism in schools, an end to homosexuality, a pro-life stance (which in Bachmann's case means no abortions in cases of rape and/or incest), and other hyper-Christian concepts of immorality. Perhaps a flying wedge instead of a disguise is more up her alley, a weapon from which her values can flay the crowd via an aural attack. After all, most voters claim they want honesty in a candidate, someone who will practice what they preach so to speak. And Michele Bachmann may be just that as she has yet to sugar coat her past, instead taking her current success as a sign she's been right in her views all along. It calls to mind Adlai Stevenson who said, "... in a democracy, people usually get the kind of government they deserve."
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